“I can’t wait”
…In my life, that’s a phrase I’ve echoed more times than I can count.
As I sit here and rock my almost 2 year old son to sleep, something I never get to do anymore, I’m reminded of how much I miss it.
When Peter was a baby all he wanted was to be held. I rarely found a moment where he wasn’t in my arms or his fathers.
I remember thinking at times, “I can’t wait to have a little bit of free time where I don’t have this little angel attached to my hip.”
Although I loved it, it was a sacrifice. It was a sacrifice of my time, my energy, and my routine. I didn’t know at the time just how much I would miss it. I didn’t know at the time that those intentional moments of rocking my only child, would disappear so fast. I didn’t know that in those moments that he was shaping me into a mother.
My point is this, sometimes in life we can’t wait to get past difficult and challenging seasons, we can’t wait to get to the other side. On the other side we hope things will be easier, but in that fantasizing about the future we forfeit the gift that is the here and now. The present is where we grow, the waiting is where we learn to persevere and where God changes us the most. The “waiting” is a time where we should release control and surrender to God. Waiting is often where we can find true moments of Gods goodness and his closeness.
I’m no where near where I want to be, but I know God is changing me daily. My goal this year has been to be present, instead of saying “I can’t wait” I have adapted to “Lord, while I wait”. While I wait show me what you want to show me, while I wait never let me forget to be thankful for where I am now, because I know one day I will look back and miss this.
I hope whatever season you are in currently, you are finding joy and peace in the waiting. Being assured that your future is bright but your present is just that, a gift, a gift I hope we all learn to embrace.
Xx Ashley
